Energy Economy - How To Attend Important Events While Chronically Ill

I want to start off by saying that there are levels of illness which do not allow for attending any events – no matter how important they may be to you.  I have been that ill before.  I will likely get there again.  I am so sorry if you are currently in such a state. 

However, just a degree or two better and it is possible to attend at least part of an event if you follow these suggestions below.  Of course, some things will depend on the type of event you are attending. (I used these suggestions for my sisters baby shower, which was really important to me, and the only party I have been to in the past 2 years – and for a 2 day convention holding 1,000 people which was also very important to me.)

1.   DON’T STRESS!  That is easier said than done, I know.  There is so much you can worry over.  But this anxiety will incapacitate you.  It will serve no purpose but to make you more sick and less able to attend.  And it does not fix any of the things you are worrying about.

Remember, there is much which may not be within your control.  All the variables of the event, the way you may be perceived, what you currently look like, whether you will even have the energy to go when the time comes, not wanting to inconvenience anyone else, and so much more.  Do not waste your energy stressing over these things.  Take it from me, it will make it almost impossible for you to go.  So, tell yourself you don’t have to worry about that now.  And listen to yourself for once.

2.   Don’t stress – but DO PLAN WELL.  There are things which are not in your control.  Don’t stress over these.  There are other things which are within your control.  Don’t stress over these either – but do think realistically about them.  Do prepare.

For example:  you can think about where you might go to rest or be quiet during the event; you can plan what to wear in advance so you are not stressing on the day of; you can plan what to do if you become overtired, over exposed, or overwhelmed; plan your escape route; plan your food; plan one or two topics of conversation. 

Use your imagination for good instead of evil (i.e.to prep instead of panic).

How to Attend an Event while Chronically Ill

Visualize the event – like top athletes do before a match.  With your eyes closed, visualize the building and people the best you can.  Visualize yourself there – in your wheelchair, or wearing your mask, or however you will likely appear.  Visualize yourself getting into the building.  Visualize yourself being happy there.  Visualize yourself leaving the crowd the best you can and finding your rest area.  Visualize any scenarios that will likely happen – and prepare how you might respond.  Visualize everything you can think of (I do this and it makes a big difference for me).

You can’t plan for everything.  But you can plan for a lot.  And doing so will help you make the event, be less flustered during, and keep your dignity no matter what happens.  Planning is not the same as stressing.  Planning is a positive step, it helps you be prepared.  And being prepared actually alleviates stress.

See the post: Energy Economy - Leaving the House While Chronically Ill.

3.   Take an “in all events” bag with you.  Depending on what you need it could be large or small.  But this goes along with being prepared.  You might take your medicine, a blanket and/or pillow, calm mints, different shoes, emergency food, first aid stuff.  You know your own requirements.  Now is not the time to go without.  Better to be over-prepared than have to leave early.

4.   Go with a friend who understands your situation if at all possible.  They will understand if you have to leave early.  And I often find that even if I make it through an event – I have nothing left in reserve – and often need help getting out of the building and home.  The last event I went to I had gone through all the steps above but failed to think about how I would leave the building.  Thank goodness my mom was there.  She supported my weight and helped me walk out – because by that time I was completely spent.  If you need help – make sure to prepare your helpers in advance too.  Discuss what you might need, what you expect, and what they are expecting, etc…

5.   Rest is your ally.  So do it as much as you can in the days or weeks prior.  I understand we need to strike a balance between resting and gaining strength and stamina.  But you will need all the reserves you can get for this occasion.  Rest as much as you can day of.  Sleep as late as possible.  Opt for sleep over other things – like having super special hair.  Content yourself with simple, pretty enough hair.  Shower the night before. And rest during the affair as well.

6.   Get ready in stages.  This applies both to the weeks before the event and the day of.  Do you need to buy a few things to be ready for the affair?  If so, maybe you could do your shopping online several weeks in advance.  At any rate, don’t leave it until the last moment (see step number one above).  Plan any food you need to bring and get this a few days in advance.  Your clothes should be cleaned and cared for as early as is reasonable.  Don’t leave it all last minute or you will spend all your energy getting ready and have no energy left to actually attend.

7.   Don’t rush.  Rushing exhausts me almost more than the event itself.  Set a steady pace.  Don’t get in a big hurry.  Rest between stages of getting ready.  Play nice music while you are getting dressed.  This can help calm you and make the process enjoyable.  I find that this not only soothes me but puts me in a better frame of mind.  Of course, your choice of music matters.  No depressing songs right now.

Don’t rush to get in the building, don’t rush to get to a seat.  If at all possible don’t rush for anything.  No, they probably won’t wait for you.  But rushing will only make you less able to stay the whole course. 

8.   Remind yourself how to handle people.  See the posts: Energy Economy – Dealing with People While Chronically Ill; Coping With Chronic Illness – Caring toomuch What People Think Keeps you Sick.; and Coping With Chronic Illness – Caring too Much What PeopleThink – How to Overcome It.

9.   Make time to rest after.  This is just as important as resting before.  Give yourself the room you need for a little crash.  Expect it.  I usually give myself at least two weeks.  But times vary by current level of health and the individual involved. 

10.  Have fun!  This is a special event.  You are rarely able to do this.  Enjoy yourself and the company you are in as much as possible.  Try to think as little about your illness as you are able during this event (but not so little that you don’t take care of your needs).  Get out of yourself as much as you.  Go prepared to enjoy yourself – and that joy need depend on no one else because if all else fails, you are just happy to be there.

Well, those are my top ten suggestions for making it to an important occasion.  I will say that I have three conventions a year – they are all extremely important to me – and in the past year and a half I have missed most of them because I was simply too ill – I couldn’t even sit up.  But the ones I made were successful partially because I followed all of these suggestions.  You have likely implemented most or all of these already, but if not I hope you find them useful.

And now it is your turn:  What do you think of the above list?  And do you have any suggestions to add?  How do you make it through an important event?

You may also enjoy these posts.

Coping With Chronic Illness posts: 

It's OK to grieve your losses
Knowledge is power
Do not eat, breathe, and sleep your illness
Part 1 - Friendship is a basic human need (the dilemma)
Part 2 - Friendship is a basic human need (who can be a friend?)
Part 3 - Friendship is a basic human need (10 ways to be a good friend while chronically ill)
Part 4 - Friendship is a basic human need (How to be a friend to a friend who is chronically ill)
2 Reasons why lying keeps you sick
Let go of the dream, accept reality, and be happy (it breaks your heart and then rebuilds it)
Accepting reality - what it does NOT mean
3 Ways to advance in a new direction
18 Ways to ward off sadness
I Can't Do It Alone
Talk.  And Talk Some More.
You Do Not Need To Justify Your Existence
Coping with Chronic Illness - Dealing with Its Unpredictable Nature

Coping With Chronic Illness - Other People Have Problems Too
When I have no brain and no body
Caring too much what people think keeps you sick
Caring too much what people think - how to overcome it.
Coping With Chronic Illness - Exercise Part 1 - Is it Good or Bad?

Energy Economy posts:

How to get food into our mouths while chronically ill part 1
Food part 2
Food part 3
Grocery shopping and chronic illness
Wardrobe considerations for the chronically ill - part 1
Wardrobe considerations for the chronically ill - part 2
15 suggestions for Leaving the house while chronically ill
14 suggestions for cleaning the house while chronically ill
Personal hygiene and chronic illness
Dealing with people while chronically ill
12 Ways to simplify your grooming and dressing routines
10 Ways to COPE with Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog)  
10 Ways to COMBAT Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog) 

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