Coping With Chronic Illness - Other People Have Problems Too

Everything seems to be hard for me and requires a lot of thought and planning.  For goodness sake, washing my hair requires a plan of action and plenty of time afterward to rest.  Because everything is harder and requires more thought it is easy to become self -centered, focusing only on what I need and want, thinking only about what is happening to me.  

Also, illness often brings isolation.  Keeping my own company so much makes it easy to think only of myself.   

One problem with being too concerned with ME  is that I tend to downplay other people’s problems.  I never think they are as bad or important as mine.  This is simply untrue and unfair.  Their problems are usually just as valid and often very painful and frustrating.   

I am not the only one with difficult circumstances.  Remembering this helps me put things back in perspective.  And it helps me decide what sort of person I want to be.  I want to be the sort of person who is compassionate, kind, and who helps others through their hard times.  And I can do this even though I am ill.

In order to be a friend I have to really think about others and what they need.  I also have to decide what I am able to give.  I obviously cannot fill every need, and I couldn’t even if I was well.  But I can do something.  

Can I offer some encouragement or commend them?  Can I write a letter to someone who is sick, depressed, or grieving?  Can I give them some of my time or do I have an experience or a skill they could use?  Can I send a card or call?  Can I give a gift that will fill a need?  (Online shopping is awesome, but can become addictive and deplete both wallet and time.)  Often all they really want or need is someone to talk to.  Can I listen?

I am very forgetful (brain fog / cognitive dysfunctions).  When I think of someone who is having a hard time or whom I would like to connect with, I write it down.  Then, I can slowly work through my list in my own time.  Ultimately I am happier, less anxious, and more engaged with life when I make time to think about other people instead of focusing solely on myself.  And it is good for me to realize that I am not the only one who counts.

What about you?  Do you have any thoughts on this subject?

Other Coping With Chronic Illness posts: 


 It's OK to grieve your losses
Knowledge is power
Do not eat, breathe, and sleep your illness
Part 1 - Friendship is a basic human need (the dilemma)
Part 2 - Friendship is a basic human need (who can be a friend?)
Part 3 - Friendship is a basic human need (10 ways to be a good friend while chronically ill)
Part 4 - Friendship is a basic human need (How to be a friend to a friend who is chronically ill)
2 Reasons why lying keeps you sick
Let go of the dream, accept reality, and be happy (it breaks your heart and then rebuilds it)
Accepting reality - what it does NOT mean
3 Ways to advance in a new direction
18 Ways to ward off sadness
I Can't Do It Alone
Talk.  And Talk Some More.
You Do Not Need To Justify Your Existence
Coping with Chronic Illness - Dealing with Its Unpredictable Nature


Energy Economy posts:

How to get food into our mouths while chronically ill part 1
Food part 2
Food part 3
Grocery shopping and chronic illness
Wardrobe considerations for the chronically ill - part 1
Wardrobe considerations for the chronically ill - part 2
15 suggestions for Leaving the house while chronically ill
14 suggestions for cleaning the house while chronically ill
Personal hygiene and chronic illness
Dealing with people while chronically ill
12 Ways to simplify your grooming and dressing routines
10 Ways to COPE with Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog)  
10 Ways to COMBAT Cognitive Dysfunction (Brain Fog, Fibro Fog)