Coping with Chronic Illness. Accepting Reality - What It Does Not Mean.

Accepting reality does not mean giving up hope 

I want to be clear.  Letting go of the dream and accepting reality does not mean giving up hope.  It does not mean giving up on life.  And it does not mean that what we can do now won’t change in the future.  It is a tricky balance, I know.  But, never, never mistake being reasonable for giving up.  

Accepting reality is not failure.  It may feel like that at first.  But that is not what it is.  It is advancing in a new direction.  Because we can only move forward when we have accepted what we have to work with.  

So, you have finally started to see your reality and you have realized that this dream or goal is damaging to you or your family, or is simply unattainable.  Can you substitute a more reasonable goal that will keep you in line with what you love, but actually be possible for you?  We want to do our best.  That is all that the people who love us expect from us.  

Accepting reality does not mean giving up yourself

Accepting reality does mean giving up, at least for now, goals and dreams which are counterproductive because we cannot reach them.  But it also means setting new goals, having new dreams, and adjusting our perceptions of ourselves. It means adjusting our view of our value. 

What makes us valuable is not what we can do, although many believe that.  What makes us valuable is who we are.  

What we can or can’t do will vary greatly at different points in our lives and we may have no control over that.  But we can control (at least most of the time) the kind of person we are.  

We can always strive to be a person of value.  A person with a sense of humor.  Or a person who values spiritual things.   Or a good friend.  A good parent.  Someone who is moral.   Someone who is kind or empathetic.  A generous person.   Etc…

The truth is this is not the reality I or my family would have chosen for me.  But, this is the reality I have.  And, it can still be a good reality.  My life has changed, but is not over.  There is still meaning and purpose and love in my life.  I am still useful.  I still have value.  I still have hope.   And I am still a good person.  My illness changes my reality, but it does not take away who I am.

Stay tuned for:  Advancing In A New Direction – The Strategy

You may also enjoy this article:  Six Keys to Personal Success on jw.org.

And Coping with chronic illness – 10 Ways to be a Good FriendWhile Chronically Ill

Coping With Chronic Illness – It’s Ok to Grieve Your Losses

Coping With Chronic Illness – Knowledge is Power

Coping With Chronic Illness – Lying Keeps you sick

Coping With chronic illness – Cultivate other interests